In Part 1 of this series you read about when I finally realized what was missing in my life. You probably have heard or read the quotes "you are the only thing that can make you happy" and "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else" you might read these and think yea of course, but if your like me, never truly understood the meaning. One day, it was like a lightbulb turned on, the message finally spoke to me and i saw how, in fact, it really did apply to my life. In SO many ways!
If you read step 1 of this series you read that mindset is the main thing that drives us to meet our goals. Our thoughts are what drive our motivation, and our confidence, or lack there of... Mindset is the next step to achieve goals of true unconditional self-love! We have to realize what we are doing wrong in terms of attitude and thought habits. We also have to become accountable for the changes we are going to make. When people talk about accountability, its often in reference to a friend that you check in with or maybe are working together on your goal so that you are more likely to continue working toward it, this works well for a work out goal, or a reading challenge etc. But how can we be made accountable for our mindset and our thoughts? These things that are so personal and private that even if we check in with a friend how can they be sure that our thoughts are in check? I know that sometimes I'm not always honest when I'm checking in with my mentor/friend. It depends on my mood, and if I don't feel like talking about my real struggles of the week, I tell her everything is great.
While having a friend following you on this journey is initially helpful, its really all up to YOU.
I know this message has been written by many people that have come to realize this missing piece or this light bulb. I am just writing my story and how it happened to me. Maybe my voice or my perspective will reach you in a way the others have not.
If you read my post about why I started this blog, you read about how as a young women I put all importance in romantic relationship. I thought guys and their attention was everything. That the acceptance of the popular boys would change me in some way, or make me better. You see, i always had this feeling that something was wrong with me and thats why I wasn't cool, or popular. But the secret is, we are all equally different, and weird the popular kids don't know what there doing just like the rest of us, and what I've started to notice is that they might be the ones struggling more because although they are well liked they might feel even more pressure to fit the mold that people think they are to maintain their social status. In the words of Sarah Knight "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU"! This is gold! She writes this in her book "You Do You" and its so true. It speaks to most of us, which are just searching for acceptance in the eyes of the people we see as those that have it all together. All I want is to kill this voice within me that tells me "Your not good enough!". To do this I have to find where its coming from, why is it there. What events in my life made me feel like this?
Ive been talking to so many people and reaching out for books and resources and others personal testimony for the answers. I have come across so much good advice and life changing words that are helping me immensely to peel off these layers of outside words that have been plastered in my mind. The opinions of others....smh
Im currently reading two books one is the one I mentioned above "You Do You" by Sarah Knight, and the second one, i recently shared on my instagram @caringablemother, "Becoming Myself: Embracing God's dream of you" I am loving this book by Stasi Eldredge, so many of her stories speak clearly to my life, thoughts, and experiences. She helps me become free from so many situations that i can remember that contributed to my inner voice being a negative one.
I have a confession to make. I have to admit how much of a spotlight this negative inner voice plays in the show called my life. You may have heard the quote "another woman's beauty doesn't take away your own" well here's what happened. My best friend recently made her own blog, and its great I love the things she's writing. But I started to notice this inner voice. Its sounded like this
"These posts are good.."
"There better than yours..."
"Why didn't you think to write of that.."
"This is how you do it right..."
"Her blog is better, maybe you should just stop people probably won't read yours..."
Oh my gosh! Stop! Im not listening to this voice. Im so proud of my friend and her blog, I actually have several friends that have something going for them and its so exciting. I want to lift them up, I think sometimes because of the inner voice we think thats what our friends are thinking too. Like they could do better than us. But they aren't thinking that! So practice remembering that quote...
"One persons beauty or success does not lessen our own..."
Its so frustrating to me because we hear all the time "don't care what other people think". And its like yea, but HOW?
If you want to join me on this journey don't forget to subscribe and follow me on social media! This is going to be a long hard process, but I want to do it! I want to transform for my daughters and i want to transform for myself and to inspire the other women out there that I know are feeling this SAME way!!!