Leading up to the day of her arrival there was, as usual, many emotions rushing through me. I didn't feel the nerves until Tuesday the 19th, this was the day i had to go get the first of two steroid shots meant to help strengthen baby's premature lungs. Before getting my shot i had my maternity prepared stay appointment at which i signed consent forms for things like the anesthesia, the surgery itself, and certain baby routine checks and shots. I also checked all the information for the birth certificate. Walking into that appointment i never expected the emotions to hit me like they did, fear and anxiety. Answering all those questions and being back in that place brought memories from the last time i was there, having her sister. The memories of the uncertainty from the doctors, the confusion, and it made me understand the neglect from so many details of "the newborn routine" that we were robbed of with Karina. After i got my shot, walking back to the truck with Karina the tears just started falling, i was hit with the reality that this is happening now, i feared i would see the doctors that wrongly sent Karina home with hospice instead of the obvious and otherwise well known shunt treatment for hydrocephalus. I had to call my cousin to calm me down, and she did as always! She informed me that both of the doctors had since retired, to my relief.
Wednesday came, second shot was given, baby's head was down and her heart beat was strong. I was still nervous, but less anxious.
Thursday, excitment. The whole week i was trying to wrap my head around the idea of having another baby. With it being the second child it felt like a bigger deal than having the first in a way because with just one you know where your putting 100% of your attention and efforts but with two it turns into a balancing act, and this comes with guilt. We went out for the last time as a family of three and did what we love, went to the mall. We took Karina to play at the tree play area AKA "germ tree", had lunch and picked up some last minute things for the big day! Our friends came over in the evening to visit us and see Karina since they were the ones watching her Friday morning. We opened gifts, and they put up with trying to visit during my final attempt to complete my nesting checklist (a never ending list in your mind of things that need to be done before the new baby comes that aren't even baby related).
Sleep was impossible, Noe went to soccer to calm his mind, so i put Karina to sleep held her tight and from 8pm tried and tried to sleep. After awhile realizing it wasn't going to just happen i listened to some meditation music, after that i looked at Pinterest, after that i prayed the rosary, nothing worked not that i really expected it to. I think i finally fell asleep around 1 or 2am. 4:45am came around and Karina was ready to start her day, even though she didn't understand what was going to happen today she gave Noe and I each a hug and kiss got off the bed and crawled through the dark house to her play room, like she was ready to be an independent big sister ;). I was talking and talking to Noe i can't believe how relax he was, he excels in keeping calm when big things are happening. My mind just races, but he does a good job keeping up with my thoughts too. I was so excited! I had to shower to prepare for surgery and Noe got Karina some breakfast and installed Karina's car seat to our friends' car when they got there.
When we got to the hospital and checked in they took us to our room and got the fetal monitor on right away, put in my IV, and my catheter (my worst enemy) and then we waited for my turn in the OR. Once they took me back they moved fast and didn't explain as many details as i would've liked. Hunched over sitting on the table I kept telling them to tell me when i was going to fall, i remembered feeling scared when i went numb when i had Karina. They placed the spinal anesthesia and told me to quickly turn and lay down on the table before i went numb. They put a wedge under my side so i wasn't laying flat on my back and then they "tested" a part of my belly to make sure i was numb. They brought Noe in and the Dr said the surgery was going well. A couple minutes later they said she was out! and i just kept telling Noe to look and to go see her, she started crying and crying and i started crying and crying. Noe went to see her at the heated table where she was being wiped off and suctioned off, they swaddled her up and brought her to me where i met my second daughter. I remember asking how she was, a lot! Everyone kept telling me she's great! After we had a couple minutes as a family they had to take her back to the table and wake her up a little more, she started crying again, she just needed to work out some more fluid from her lungs. After that her proud Daddy took her out to the recovery area while they finished stitching me up.
In recovery i was not feeling well because of the medicine they gave me. It made me feel like i was dreaming, and missing all the important things. They gave me Alba and i put her on my chest where she wiggled her way to breastfeed and latched right away! She's amazing! After awhile they gave her a bath and got her cleaned up after she pooped several times, all the nurses where really impressed haha.
Once we got back to the room there was lots of cuddles and resting until big sister Karina got there with my Best friend and her husband, just after one of Noes brothers came with his girlfriend. We didn't have a lot of visitors just a couple of our closest family throughout the day. The first day is really foggy for me, once most of the medicines wore off i did much better, until that i was a crying mess.
On Saturday Noe spent a lot of the day with Karina, baby Alba and i cuddled and bonded. We also went down to MRI. During the pregnancy we monitored a cyst of fluid in baby's brain called a Blakes pouch. it did not change throughout the pregnancy and does not effect any of the brain anatomy (if it did we would have delivered at Mott). Many people just live with these cyst and they are harmless, the MRI is just to get better more detailed images to be sure.
My best friend stayed with me Saturday night so Noe could be home with Karina. This worked out great for everyone. Since she lives several hours away we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like, but she was home for christmas break and it was perfect timing for little baby Alba's arrival. We got to visit and she was very helpful, she also took many of the pictures in our room at the hospital.
We got to come home on Sunday. I was very impressed with myself as i was moving around pretty good and i even pushed myself to shower so i wouldn't have to worry about it once i got home.
So far i think I'm healing faster than with Karina, however with Karina i think it took a lot more emotional healing so i think that makes sense. Plus this time around since I'm already a mother i was very anxious to get back home with Karina and to be back home in my nest is a lot more comfortable. With Karina i was very scared to come home and wanted to stay in the hospital where i had the help of the nurses if i needed it.
Karina has been doing great with the transition. It will be two weeks this Friday and after only a couple day of wanting to be constantly held she started to do better entertaining herself, and started to get back to her normal. We had a little setback with her getting sick with a virus she's been more fussy and clingy than normal but thats probably just from being sick although its hard to say. She is very cute and protective of her Papi! Usually the kids always want their mama, but Karina is a daddy's girl and whenever Noe tries to hold Alba Karina tries to come up with a reason that she needs him. Even though this makes me a little jealous, Its probably better this way since i have to be feeding and holding Alba more often plus i can't pick her up for six weeks :/.
These days have been full of greatness, great changes, and adjusting to being a family of four. I love the way it feels so complete, how you can't imagine before you meet the new baby, this new member of the family. But when you do, it feels right, she fits perfectly to our family. <3
